she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
