what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
