Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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