We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize