At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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