This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
