I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she peed on how many people?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
