you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
