i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
