i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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