He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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