Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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