i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
