it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
