so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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