Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
