I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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