Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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