At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize