Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
