She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
