I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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