Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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