He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
