Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize