he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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