I'm so fucking centered right now
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
