We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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