I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
