Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
smell my finger.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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