went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
