y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
