Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
