How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize