At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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