shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The adults are the big ones right?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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