she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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