not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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