Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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