yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
