Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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