Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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