His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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