I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
