I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
