tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
