Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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