FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
