they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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