i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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