Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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