Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
