i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
