You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
