My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
