69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Houston, we have a blender
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
