I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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