Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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