I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
