turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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