I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
