What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
