she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
