This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
