Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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