When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
