I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
