Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize