Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
