Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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