Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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